Meet Mandane. First, her father, Astyages, dreamt that she "[made] water so greatly that she filled all his city," drowning everyone, and eventually drowning all of Asia. ("Is she still pissing in the river now? Heard she's gone, moved into a trailer park.") (I'm quoting a version of Herodotus because I'm Very Handsome and Very… Continue reading “A vine grew from her privy parts”
One thing that gets left out of the St Nick story is how pirates raided his tomb, stole his bones, but not all of them, just the big ones, leaving the smaller ones behind, like flakes of coal.
On the way home from beheading his daughter, Barbara, Dioscorus was struck by lightning, killing him, but not instantly, as a mercy, but in a prolonged column of white hot flame, as is true of the judgment of God.
"IF I HAVE TO SHUT ONE MORE CABINET DOOR," I imagine her saying, eyes pressed tightly together like hands in a desperate prayer.
I missed yesterday, but one of the martyrs was Saint Jason and that took a lot out of me, emotionally. We're peak goyische here, Saint Jason.